Chapter 11: Committed Romantic Relationships

(pgs. 294-326)

I. Committed romantic relationships are voluntary, involve I-Thou communication, include sexual and romantic feelings, and are considered primary and permanent in our society.

A. Traditional definition has evolved to include a variety of romantic configurations

B. Generally romantic love involves passion, commitment, and intimacy

1. Passion:

2. Commitment:

3. Intimacy:

C. Romantic relationships develop based upon the love styles the

partners exhibit

1. Primary love styles

1. Eros

2. Storge

3. Ludus

2. Secondary love styles

1. Pragma

2. Mania

3. Agape

II. Like friendship, romantic relationships in Western societies tend to follow a relatively predictable path

A. Growth stages begin a romantic relationship

1. We are individuals before we ever meet our potential romantic partner

2. Invitational communication

3. Explorational communication

4. Intensifying communication

5. Revising communication

6. Commitment

B. Navigation maintains a relationship by adjusting, working through new problems, revisiting old problems, and accommodating changes in both individual and relational lives

1. Relational culture

2. Placemaking

C. Deterioration stages signal a possible end to a romantic relationship

1. Intrapsychic phase

2. Dyadic breakdown

3. Social support

4. Grave dressing

5. Resurrection processes

III. Romantic partners may encounter four unique challenges that do not exist in other types of relationships

A. Expectation of equality in and out of home

B. Discussion of safe sex

C. Violence and abuse

D. Long-distance relationships

IV. Committed romantic relationships have three guidelines for making them more effective

A. Partners need to demonstrate that they value and respect one another for who they are and not for who we would like them to be.

B. We need to overlook the small frustrations and irritations that crop up in our relationships.

C. Make daily choices that enhance the intimacy we have in our relationships.